Lines rehearsed
Mindset of the character
Feeling how he feels
Uniform to express my uniformity
Time spent in the morning
Seeking advice from others
Auditioners and judges
Asking close friends for their judgment
Am I Good enough
Say a prayer before I hit the stage
She's laughing
I'm having a good time
Then I feel and go off script
my lips quip at the idea  of stage freight

Can I keep this up?

Thoughts of the character merge into mine
I cant think straight
She matters
Butterfly wings create the butterfly effect in my mind
With what ifs
She cheers and boos
But I just want her to like me
And feel how I feel
She wants honesty
The honesty that I know?
Or the honesty of the character?

The two merge
"I miss you"
Spoken on behalf of us
Being myself but not too much
I slip in the fear of vulnerability
And she throws tomatoes
I'm confident in the character
But I am no longer acting
I really said that
I really meant that
That was more than him it was me
I know he seems good
But know that I am better
You've judged my appearance
But judge who I am

See that this is more than a role
Like actually casting Joker instead of Heath ledger
In defensiveness I stand my ground as me
To remind you that you are auditioning as well
But slip ups create mix ups
And who I am Maybe too much
The character is me but not really enough

So you'll pull back
And ill press forward
Hoping that you appreciate my honesty
By acknowledging my vulnerability
I am more than your depiction of Mr. Right
Merely acting as him decreases the value of who I am
I don't want to act
I want to be
Whole
Complete
With you as the bones to my soul
The sight to my eyes
From the moment I met you, you became the distinction of my incompletion
So I audition
For the only role that matters
I audition to be your man

 

 

Unless otherwise noted, All content © Theophilus The Great, 2014

 

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